Landslide
by LylaMackenzie
Summary: Pre-book. One night was all it took for the Curtis brothers world to be turned upside down. One moment they were talking to their parents, joking and laughing, the next trying to come to terms with the fact that thier parents were now past tense.
1. Chapter 1

The music thumped though the house like thunder, people packed into the small space like caged animals. Darry and Two-Bit sat in a far corner, each enjoying the scene without getting too wrapped up in it. Darry had work in the morning and Two-Bit didn't need any more arrests on his record. They laughed as a fight broke out and one of the onlookers was shoved into a lamp sending it crashing to the floor; those were the risks one took when having a house party.

As the night went on, the party dwindled down, drunken partygoers stumbling home or to other parties. Darry and Two-Bit hung around for a while, chatting with Tim and a few other greasers that planned to bum around Tim's house for the night. At around eleven, the two boys headed in the direction of the Curtis household, Two-Bit trailing off in a different direction about half-way there. "See ya Two-Bit." Darry called, the buzz still lingering from the few beers he'd had. Darry wasn't quite of drinking age yet, but he was responsible, and his parents had never asked him to stop. He didn't drink much, never enough to be drunk, and he was walking home, his truck still parked in its usual spot in the driveway.

The house was dark and silent as he walked up the drive and quietly opened the door. He figured everyone would be asleep and didn't want to wake anyone, his parents having been out late as well, celebrating their anniversary. He walked in to find both of his brothers asleep on the couch, Pony sprawled out on one end, Soda sitting up on the other, his head resting on a fist. Darry chuckled to himself as he turned off the television. As he went to wake his brothers, not bothering to wonder why his parents hadn't, there was a knock at the door, startling Darry. He peeked out the window to see two police officers standing on the doorstep. Darry sighed, wondering if Two-Bit had gotten into trouble on his way home. He opened the door, "Good evening officers. May I help you?" After all, his mother had taught him to be polite.

"Darrel Curtis jr?" A tall, lanky man stood before him, his partner seemingly more muscular, his uniform cut to show off his biceps. Brawn and brain? He almost laughed, but caught himself.

"Yes." Darry managed.

"May we speak with you?" Darry nodded, and moved out of the way to allow the officers into the house. By this time, Ponyboy and Soda had woken up and a drowsy Ponyboy asked "What's going on Darry?"

"I'm not sure little buddy." Darry replied, glancing at Ponyboy. Turning back to the officers, he spoke again. "I'll get our parents for you."

The bulkier man laid a hand on Darry's arm, he having turned to head in the direction of their parent's bedroom. "It might be best if you all had a seat." The officer didn't seem angry, just genuinely concerned, which made Darry nervous.

"Shouldn't we get mom and dad?" Pony asked. Soda hadn't said a word since Darry arrived home.

The first officer took off his hat and let out a breath he must have been holding. "Boys, I really hate to be the one to tell you this, but your parents were in a car accident tonight." The officer paused a moment, trying to figure out what to say next. Soda shot up from the couch at the news. Pony crept closer to Darry. Darry found himself sobered up very quickly. Questions from each of them came rapid fire.

"Are they okay?"

"What happened?"

Darry looked at his brothers. "What hospital are they at?" He asked the shorter officer, noticing the man's hair had fallen into his eyes, yet he did nothing to fix it. "I'm not sure I should be driving at the moment, honestly—"

"Darrel." The officer cut him off gently. "Your parents aren't at a hospital. They didn't make it." Darry stared at the older man, his brain trying to figure out what had happened. No. There was no way. He had just seen them a few hours ago…

"Soda its my turn!" Pony lunged at Sodapop, trying to grab the remote Soda held out of his reach.

"Sorry Pony," Soda smiled, clearly not sorry at all. "You have to be faster than that!"

"Yeah, yeah." Pony grumbled, settling himself on the couch next to his brother. Soda grinned and relaxed his arm. Pony looked at his older brother out of the corner of his eye and after a few seconds pounced on him, knocking Sodapop to the floor. The boys laughed as they wrestled around. Darry only stood, leaning against the wall, smirking. Their mother walked into the room and giggled. Her boys, always goofing off with one another. Once upon a time she had hoped for a girl, but when Ponyboy came along, and they were through having children, she knew their little family was perfect as it was.

"Oh boys, stop." Ponyboy and Sodapop obeyed instantly, breathing heavily. "We've got to get going."

The boys all got up to say goodbye to their parents. "You sure look really nice mom." Sodapop told her, kissing her cheek. Their parents had been married for 25 years and were going out to celebrate the occasion. Anyone who saw them could clearly tell they were just as in love as the day they got married.

"Well, thank you darling." She rested her hand on her middle son's cheek. "Make sure you boys finish up your homework. There is a pot roast in the oven. It should be ready in about an hour. Things for a salad are in the fridge." It was her anniversary and yet she had still taken the time to cook for them before she and her husband headed off for an evening together. That was how she worked, their mom in a nutshell. Always doing for her boys before herself. "And please remember to put the rest of the roast in the fridge. I'm sure your father will take a sandwich for work tomorrow." As if on cue Darrel Curtis Senior walked into the room and wrapped his arms around their mother, twirling her once, both of them laughing. All three boys smiled at this, their happiness catching.

"We'd better be off." Their father said, smiling. "You boys be good. And Darry?" He looked at his eldest son. "Don't be out too late okay? " Darry had plans to hang out with Two-Bit this evening, maybe head over to Tim Shepard's house for a while. Darry nodded at his father and the older man pulled all of his boys into a hug before ushering his smiling wife out the door, who didn't stop blowing kisses as they left.

The memory faded as the news sank in. Their parents were here and now they were not. Darry's heart hammered in his chest, and he struggled to maintain his composure, his jaw clenched in determination. Behind him, Pony's face crumbled and tears made their way from his eyes and fell onto his shirt. Whimpers left Soda's body, his shoulders shaking as he fell back onto the couch. They were falling apart; Darry, Soda, and Pony were now all that was left of their family. The tall, thin officer, with reddish brown hair, and a solemn expression may have ushered the two standing boys to the couch and may have explained something about a social worker, but all Darry could hear was the ringing in his ears and the sound of his little brothers hearts breaking.


	2. Chapter 2

After the two men in uniform had gone, the three brothers sat in near silence, but for the tears that sometimes made a strangled sound in their throats. Darry took deep breath after deep breath, trying to think of something to say, something to do. But there was nothing, and he felt it. He seemed to be able to hear every sound more clearly now, the thumping of his heart, the humming of the refrigerator, the static in the lights. He pressed his palms against his eyes, stemming the tears there. He couldn't cry, not yet, not when so much was uncertain. He looked at his brothers. How were they supposed to grow up without their parents?

Darry remembered the day Sodapop was born, how much his mother fawned over him, the nurses commenting on how beautiful he was even then. "Darry," His mother said. "This is your brother, Sodapop." Darry had peeked over the edge of the hospital bed at the tiny squished up blanket covered bundle in his mother's arms. "oh." He replied.

Darrel Senior knelt down by his older son and smiled at him, "Do you want to get a closer look?" Darry could see the excitement in his dad's eyes so he nodded slowly. Darry was lifted onto the bed next to his mother. "See?" His mom held tiny Soda closer so Darry could get a better look at him. "He's very small so we have to be very careful." Darry nodded again, unsure of what to say. He was only three after all, what was he supposed to say? Soda let out a little cry and Darry startled, surprised at the sounds coming from this small person, then he smiled the biggest smile he could manage. He leaned over and kissed his baby brother on the cheek. "My brother." He said, proudly.

As time went on, he learned what was okay and what was not okay with little brothers, mostly that you couldn't hit them or sit on them or stick things in their mouths. But you could give them hugs and kisses, help feed them, and show them all the cool things you found outside. And Darry loved doing that. He loved having someone to play with and "accidently" knock down from time to time.

A couple years after Soda was born they were told they were going to have another baby join their family. Darry and Soda both wanted a little brother. And on the day Ponyboy was born they got their wish. He was born in the middle of the night, and Darry and Soda had been woken up at the news that his mother was going to have the baby. Darry was half-asleep, but followed his parents to the car, Soda being carried, still asleep, in his father's arms. Darry sat with Soda in a small waiting room with one of the nurses until their father came in in scrubs, a big smile on his face, "You guys have a little brother!" They walked hand in hand with their dad to the room where their mom and the baby were resting. They curiously looked at the new baby, sound asleep in their mom's arms. Soda was only two, but he thought the little pink screaming thing was pretty cool. Darry was nearly six now, almost a grown up, and stood quietly by his mother's bed looking at the small baby very carefully. He listened to his family's excitement, Soda in his father's arms, Ponyboy in his mother's. He smiled to himself and leaned in to Pony's ear and whispered "I'm gonna take care of you."

As he sat on the couch in the middle of their living room, the sound of crickets penetrated the quiet chaos unfolding in their home. What were they supposed to do now? Everything in their house was wrapped up in memories of their parents, and yet now here they were, the center of their universe having disintegrated before them, without so much as a goodbye.

Darry rubbed a hand across his face and stood. Before he had made it two steps, Pony slammed into him, burying his face in Darry's chest. Darry didn't hesitate before wrapping his arms around his youngest brother. Soda stood and joined them, the three of them crying in the middle of the room, arms wrapped protectively around one another. Darry knew in that moment he was going to keep that promise he'd made each of his brothers right after they were born; he would take care of them. One way or another, he would make sure things were going to be okay.


	3. Chapter 3

The night stretched into morning, the sun eventually peaking over the horizon, casting the dark house in an eerie glow. Darry sat at the kitchen table, an untouched cup of coffee in front of him. He absentmindedly ran his hands over the mug, his gaze falling to the table, yet not really looking at anything. He hadn't gone to sleep. Ponyboy and Sodapop had both fallen asleep on the couch in the early hours of the morning, too tired to stay awake any longer, after what had to have been hours of tears and utter disbelief. Darry had come into the kitchen and tried to think of what to do next. He'd have to get a really good job, he knew that. He wanted Pony and Soda to stay in school. But that was as far as he'd gotten. How was this going to work?

He heard stirring in the living room and turned his attention to the doorway, where he saw Ponyboy shuffling into the kitchen. Pony looked awful, the grease in his hair having sent his locks askew, his eyes puffy and red rimmed. He looked destroyed and Darry wanted nothing more than to comfort his little brother, but unsure how. Pony stood there, his eyes downcast, his body unsure whether it was okay to approach Darry. "Baby, come here." Darry stood, letting Pony fold himself into his arms. Darry held onto his brother tightly, Pony's head resting against his shoulder, the dam breaking, tears leaking from Pony's eyes and onto Darry's neck. Sobs wracked the younger boy's body, grief overtaking him once again. "Its gonna be okay Pony. I promise." Darry's voice cracked, the pain so present in him as well. He looked up to see that Soda had entered the kitchen as well. Darry reached out an arm to him, coaxing him to join them once again. Soda's face crumbled and he fell into his brothers, the three of them becoming one being, united in their heartbreak.

A few moments passed, exhaustion settling in, tears having dried up. The three of them sat at the table in silence for a some time, each boy feeling the weight of the previous night. Darry spoke first. "Guys, the cop said last night that someone from social services would be coming by today sometime. So we need to get things ready I guess. I'm thinking maybe showers, pick up a bit, you know." The younger boys nodded. "Pony, you're not going to school today, obviously. Soda, you either. So why don't you guys go take showers, put on some decent clothes, and I'll start getting things cleaned up." Pony and Soda obediently followed orders, no argument left in either of them. What else were they supposed to do anyway.

As Ponyboy claimed the first shower, Soda stayed in the kitchen to help Darry pick up, though there wasn't much to be done, their mother having kept the house clean and tidy. Neither one of them said much of anything, moving around the house robotically. After about twenty minutes Pony emerged from the bathroom, dressed in jeans and one of his nicer t-shirts, hair combed back into place. "This okay Darry?" He asked quietly.

"Yeah little buddy." Darry gave Pony a reassuring smile. "Soda, you're up." As Soda took his turn in the bathroom, Pony and Darry sat on the couch the sky turning brighter as the morning transitioned to day. Darry's eyes scanned their surroundings, taking in everything their parents had worked so hard for. It was all the same, the television in front of the couch, the plants their mother swore she could keep alive, the pictures that hung in various places, showing them all smiling and happy. It was all still the same, and it was all so very different.

When Soda joined them, Darry spoke again. "I'm not for sure what's going to happen today. But we need to do everything we can to make sure we stay together. You two are young enough that a boy's home is a real possibility." Pony picked at a piece of fuzz that had come loose from the couch. "But I'm not going to let that happen. I'm going to get a job, and I'll be your guardian."

"But Darry what about college?" Soda piped up. College was something Darry deserved, something he had worked so hard for. He'd even gotten a scholarship.

Darry shrugged. "That's not going to happen anymore, Soda. I did a lot of thinking last night and this morning. It's going to be hard, but we have to do this. No matter what we have to stay together and me going to college isn't going to allow that to happen."

"I can get a job too!" Soda told him, wanting to do anything he could to help. "I can fix cars or something. I'm crap at school anyway."

"No, Pepsi-Cola—" Darry began, using their father's pet name for him.

"But—" Soda cut him off, he was 16 now, he could drop out and get a job, no problem. He needed to be useful, Darry couldn't do it all.

"Soda, you and Pony are going to stay in school and graduate like you were supposed to. Mom would want that." That kept Soda quiet, their mom would want them to graduate high school. Talking about their parents like this was hard, but it needed to be done. Darry ran a hand through his hair and sighed. "You can't stop living because you lose someone. We have to keep moving forward." Darry said this with conviction, clenching his fists in determination, as if to convince himself. They didn't have any other choice. Forward. However slowly it went, however tough it was going to be, they had only one direction to choose from.

The phone rang then, startling them out of their conversation. Darry reached for it and spoke to whoever was on the other end. As he hung up, the other boys looked at him cautiously. "That was the social worker." He responded. "She'll be here in about an hour." Pony felt his heart speed up and Soda felt himself growing anxious. "It'll be okay." Darry promised. He hugged each of his brothers, then stood. "I'm going to take a quick shower. I'll be done before she gets here and if you are nervous, please have a cigarette now because you're not getting one afterwards." Darry headed off to take a shower and Pony and Soda sat back down on the couch. Neither one of them wanted to face this, but they now had no choice. How was it that 24 hours ago they were both sitting in class, Soda bored, Pony riveted, and now they were both in a fog, a scary, overbearing dark cloud that made it hard to breathe.

Forty-five minutes later they all sat nervously on the couch, not knowing what else to do. Pony was nearly curled in on himself, Soda jiggled one of his legs, and Darry sat up straight, his hands gripping his knees to steady himself. The doorbell sounded like an alarm, shrill and terrifying in the silence of their house. The brothers took in a collective breath and Darry got up to answer the door. Nothing was going to prepare them for this, no talking beforehand, no planning, no amount of reassuring, would allow them to take in what was behind that door. But here they were, ready or not, about to face the rest of their lives.


	4. Chapter 4

Darry approached the door, and breathed deeply as he opened it. Ponyboy stood close to Soda, both of them staring at the door Darry had just opened. A woman about the age of their mother, with deep brown hair and a briefcase, stood in front of them. "Darrel?" She questioned, her eyes glancing at once at Darry and beyond at the younger boys, who tried not to look nervous.

"Yes." Darry answered and invited her into the house. "This is Sodapop and Ponyboy." He told her gesturing to his brothers. The boys both said hello quietly, unsure what their place was at this point. Pony shifted nervously where he stood, Sodapop putting a hand gently on his arm.

"Let's have a seat boys and we can begin." She sat in the chair, allowing the boys to sit next to one another on the couch. "First, my name is Kathleen Overland and I'm with the state and I'm here to determine what should happen to the minors in this household. That would be Sodapop Patrick Curtis and Ponyboy Michael Curtis." She paused, a pitying look on her face. It's not that she didn't have to do this every day, but that didn't make it any easier. Here were three boys young enough to be her own children, who had just lost their parents and she may have to separate all three of them. "I am very very sorry for your loss." Everything was so formal, so dry. "This must be very hard on all of you." The boys didn't answer and for a moment nobody spoke.

"What do we have to do to stay together?" Darry asked, sitting on the edge of the couch, his hands resting tightly on his knees. "We can't be separated. We can't lose each other too." He finished quietly. He looked at his brothers, saw Soda's lip quiver, Pony's eyes become glassy.

"Do you have any family who you can live with? Any relatives who are willing to take you in until you're all the age of 18?" Kathleen asked them. This was typically what worked best in most situations, a boys home at the bottom of the list.

Darry shook his head. "No. We don't." He kept his voice strong, steady, not wanting to seem weak and ill-fit to look after his brothers. Though they did have family on both sides, none of them lived close or would financially be able to look after 3 more people along with their own families. Darry left it as they didn't have anyone, not wanting to explain. He thought about his answer a moment, hoping she wouldn't know of all the family and be angry at his lie of omission. "But, I could be their guardian couldn't I? I'm old enough."

Kathleen Overland reached for a file in her briefcase and placed it in her lap. "Yes, at your age you are able to ask for guardianship of your brothers. But, it's not as simple as just that. There would be a check of the home, making sure you acquire a job if you don't already have one, and check- ins with myself every few months, some possibly without notice. It is a big responsibility to take in two young boys and there is a lot that goes along with that."

Just then Ponyboy burst into tears, folding himself onto his knees, his hands over his face. He'd tried so hard to keep it together, not wanting the lady who arrived to take him away from his brothers and now he'd ruined it. He was going to be taken away from them for sure now. It was all his fault. This thought made him cry harder. And it seemed to set off a chain reaction, Soda now crying softly next to him. Darry immediately crouched on the floor in front of his distraught brothers. "Hey." He said softly, but firmly. He placed a hand on Pony's head, another on Soda's leg. "No one is going to split us up. I'm not going to let that happen. I promise you that." He ran his fingers through Pony's hair, trying to provide comfort when he knew there was none to be found. Nothing was going to make this situation any easier, but he was going to do anything he could. Squeezing Soda's leg, he spoke again. "Come here." Both boys fell into Darry, curling themselves around each other. After awhile they pulled apart, sobbing subsiding to sniffles. "It's okay, its okay." Darry spoke calmly. "We're going to be okay."

He looked at each of his brothers one last time making sure they were okay, or as okay as they were going to be, and returned to his spot on the couch. Kathleen smiled softly at Darry, her face showing gentle understanding. It was in that moment she knew Darrel Curtis would be able to have custody of his brothers. No one was going to separate these boys. With that in mind, she spoke, "I'm going to leave you with some forms to fill out. You have three weeks to obtain work. I'll be back in four." After handing a packet of papers to Darry, him looking at her with relief, she stood to go. "It'll need to be signed by a judge. But I really don't see that getting in the way. Have a good evening boys. Good luck." Darry stood to shake her hand one more time and then she was out the door, her sleek car backing out of the driveway, leaving the brothers alone with their thoughts. Maybe they could have this. Maybe they wouldn't ever get their parents back, but they could have this.


	5. Chapter 5

Later that evening, as Darry sat at the kitchen table looking over the paperwork for guardianship, he started thinking about the future. He felt a pang of guilt as college entered his thoughts. He knew it would probably never be on his radar anymore and he was saddened by that; Darry had wanted to go to college, do something more than just a job, he wanted a career. But that wasn't going to happen now, and as he thought of his brothers falling apart during the visit with the social worker, he knew it didn't matter. This is where he was supposed to be. Somehow he would make it work. Starting tomorrow, he'd begin looking for work. His parents had been gone less than 24 hours and he was automatically an adult, making decisions he never thought he'd have to face. With that, another thought came to him: the funeral. Would he have to plan that as well? Darry sighed and rubbed a hand across his face. This was going to be a long night.

"Hey, Darry." Darry looked up to see Pony standing in the doorway, hair falling into his eyes, having escaped from the grease's stronghold on his locks. "Do you think we could do something for dinner?"

Darry glanced at the clock. 8:30. Wow, was it really that late already? Some guardian he was. He couldn't even remember to feed his brothers. "Uh, yeah, Pone. I'll fix us something here in just a minute, okay?"

Pony nodded and retreated to the living room, sitting on the couch next to Soda. They hadn't been doing much other than trying to keep their minds busy since the social worker had left. Pony had tried to read, but couldn't concentrate. They settled for watching mindless television most of the day.

Just then the door opened, slamming up against the wall, causing the boys to jump at the noise, the house having been quiet all day. Darry headed into the living room to find Pony and Soda standing, facing the door, the ruckus of the gang clamoring into the space already inhabited with too many sounds; silence the loudest of them all. The gang stopped in their tracks after catching the looks on the boys' faces. "What's going on Darry?" Two-Bit asked, worry and confusion crossing his face. Darry hadn't called the gang to tell them the news of their parent's deaths; he'd been too preoccupied with trying to figure out what he was supposed to do next.

For a moment no one said anything, the heavy burden of having to relive the moment once again, say the words aloud, confess their heartache to people they knew would feel their loss almost just as much as they had. The boys had been friends for as long as they could remember, having met in school or around the neighborhood, coming together mostly at the Curtis household, their family being the light through the harsh reality of the darkness that seemed to plague the other boys. And now it was shattered, destroyed, and they had been reminded of that every second of the past day.

Ponyboy broke first, sitting back on the couch, his face crumbling, after trying to keep it all in. You didn't cry in front of the gang, it wasn't tuff. But Johnny was at his side immediately, an arm around his shoulders. Johnny knew pain more than any of them and saw it in Pony's eyes the moment they walked into the house. Something bad had happened. Soda clenched his jaw to keep from breaking down for what seemed like the 50th time in the past 24 hours. Only a moment had passed, but it felt like years, and Darry spoke. "Our parents are gone. They died in a car accident late last night." Darry had to be the strong one, the one to hold it together, hold it all together.

It was dark outside, the only sound the crickets and Pony's quiet sobbing, Johnny's soft words in his ear. Their heads were bent together, Johnny's hand gently squeezing the back of Pony's neck in an attempt at comfort; Johnny and Pony were like brothers themselves, always talking, hanging out in the lot, going to the movies. Johnny felt his heart sink for his friends, his family; they were more his family than his own would ever be.

The gang stood around in shock, trying to comprehend what they'd just been told. Dallas had his hands in his jacket pockets, chewing his lip. Two-Bit wasn't sure who or what to look at and his eyes darted from person to person, before finally settling on the floor. Soda felt his cheeks become wet, unaware that he'd even begun crying. Steve made his way to his best friend and pulled him into a hug. Darry watched the scene before him, how much love they still had around them. It was good that their friends had come by. "I'm going to get custody of Soda and Pony." Darry said finally. His voice was rough, as if it hadn't been used in awhile. The shirt he'd had on earlier was unbuttoned and he rolled one of the buttons between his fingers. "We met with a social worker today." He let his hand drop to his side, as if it suddenly took too much energy to hold it up any longer.

"What are you gonna do now?" Dally asked.

"Have a funeral I guess." Darry shrugged. "It's strange to be thinking of that. It all happened all at once."

Dally and two-Bit nodded. "It's not right, man." Two-Bit said. "Your parents are—were—amazing. Not all of us are that lucky and yours are the ones that end up—" The room felt angry suddenly. Johnny's dad beat him most of the time, Darry knew that's what he meant. The rest they could deal with, but not that. Not to Johnny. They were all extremely protective of Johnny, especially after the night they found him nearly unconscious in the lot. His dad had been raging drunk and Johnny had simply walked in the door at the wrong time. His father beat him until he could barely stand, yet Johnny had made it all the way to the lot before passing out. Johnny was not the most outspoken of the group, but after that he was especially quiet, as if the voice were beat out of him.

"Yeah." Darry agreed. He looked at his brothers; Steve and Soda now having separated, Soda sniffling the last of his tears away, Pony and Johnny sat huddled together, Pony staring into space, Johnny still massaging his neck. Darry would have smiled at the sweetness of the moment if it weren't for the circumstances. "So I was just going to make us some food if you guys want any." The gang mumbled their yeses and followed Darry into the kitchen. Pony and Johnny stayed behind on the couch. It was like Ponyboy didn't even realize the rest of them had left the room.

The two of them sat there for awhile, not saying anything, Johnny's arm around Pony, Pony's head resting on Johnny's shoulder. "Go to sleep, Pony. I'm not going anywhere." Johnny knew sleep helped sometimes, and that Pony was exhausted. So Johnny sat on the couch, listening to the chatter coming from the kitchen, the night filling the house, and felt Ponyboy relax against him. Johnny's promise hung in the air, both of them unaware that in a mere nine months it would be broken.


	6. Chapter 6

The next few days passed by in a fog, with Darry making funeral arrangements, Pony and Soda going back to school (Darry didn't want them to have too much to make up), and the gang spending most of the time shuffling between school/work and the Curtis household. The funeral was set to happen the day after tomorrow, a Thursday, and the gang would come back to their house afterwards, along with the friends of their parents, who Darry had been calling for the past couple of days. Everyone had pretty much the same reaction, sad and shocked, their parents being so young. And many of them had offered to do anything they could to help with the funeral, bringing food by, even going so far as to offer to take the boys into their own home, but Darry simply thanked them all and moved on to the next person.

Darry had had a few odd jobs here and there to try and save up some money for college, but nothing substantial, and now with the prospect of becoming guardian for his brothers looming before him, calling around for openings in anything that would bring in enough money was proving to be more of a challenge than he had anticipated. He was either too young, to inexperienced, or too 'greaser'.

After hanging up the phone for what seemed like to 50th time that day, Darry sat at the table and put his head in his hands. The first few tears seemed to struggle to make their way down his cheeks, but the rest came easily. Alone, in more ways than one, the twenty year old man, sat in what was now his kitchen, in what was now his house, and sobbed. His body crumpled with the weight of his burden, shoulders shaking, breath catching, as he struggled to keep his feelings in any longer. He hadn't cried much since the news of his parents had hit him that first night. He knew his brothers did. He could hear them both at night as they fell into fitful sleeps, their hearts clearly ripped apart. Darry wasn't sleeping much at this point, but he went to bed all the same, maybe from habit or maybe to hide, he wasn't sure. He hated that his brothers were in such horrible pain, and he knew they were both trying to hide it. So he left them alone at night to allow their grief and heartbreak to surface after a day of keeping it to themselves. During the day, they didn't seem like themselves and had begun to cling to each other, sitting just a bit closer to one another on the couch, finding reasons to be in the same room at the same time, as if being too far from one another would cause one to lose the other forever. Darry felt like an outsider at times as he watched them. They may not even have been aware they were doing it, but he noticed. Just like he noticed as they grew older Ponyboy gravitated towards Sodapop instead of him. Darry figured it must have something to do with the fact that Soda was similar to their mother, bubbly and goofy, yet more loving than almost anyone. Darry was more serious, more inclined to play by the rules. He could why a 9 or 10 year old boy would be more apt to follow Soda around than himself.

As the tears began to slow, Darry sat back and took a look around him. How often did he really pay attention to when his mother hummed to herself as she cooked dinner or how his father wrestled around with each of them until someone cried uncle. Everyone always commented on how beautiful their mother was and how she was the typical 50s housewife. They laughed at that; other than enjoying her family and love for cooking, their mother was anything but. She could swear and play pool with the best of them, just chose not to do so around the boys.

Darry sighed and ran a hand through his hair; the weight he now carried was unimaginable, and he found himself slowly losing control. If he wasn't careful he wouldn't be able to carry out the duties he now needed to attend to, most of all his brothers. He'd always been the "older brother" in the sense that he protected his younger brothers with a fierceness that wasn't always present in siblings. He knew now more than ever, it was not only his brotherly duty to protect them, but his lifelong duty to keep them from pain and help them grow up properly. Soda was nearly an adult himself, but Ponyboy was still so young, he had so much to learn, so many things to figure out in life. All of them had their world turned upside down just a few days ago and had no choice but to move forward, no matter how difficult that may be.

That night, Darry cooked dinner in near silence; Pony was in his room, working on homework (his teachers had been more than lenient and had given him plenty of time to get it done, but Darry insisted it was better than thinking about their parents in full force, better his mind stay occupied. Summer would prove to be much more challenging), and Soda was in the living room absently watching television. "Alright guys, come and eat." Darry announced once he was finished cooking and the rest of the trio walked into the kitchen, sitting down at the table. Darry had made spaghetti, one of their favorite meals, and watched as the normally ravenous Ponyboy picked at his food. "You gotta eat, Pone. Not eating ain't gonna help anything." He kept his voice soft, not wanting to scold him, but trying to get him to at least eat a few bites. Pony said nothing and stared into his plate. Soda took one bite of food and covered his face with his hands, silent tears escaping through his fingers. Darry put his fork down on his plate. "Guys, I know this isn't the same. I –I know that. I just thought we could try to have something a bit normal."

Ponyboy jumped up from his chair, knocking it over in the process. "No! Nothing is normal! Nothing will ever be normal!" He stormed off to his room, slamming his door behind him. Darry sighed, exhausted.

Soda sniffled. "I'm sorry Darry. It's really good. Honest. I just can't—"

It's okay Soda. You can go to bed if you want. I'll clean up." Soda nodded and walked to his room. After cleaning up from the uneaten meal, he retreated to his room for the night as well.

It started raining at some point during the night, thunder and lightning echoing the mood within the house. Rain thumped the roof, hammered against the windows, causing every other noise to be drowned out. And it wasn't until the spine-chilling scream that burst through the night, any of the Curtis brothers awakened.


	7. Chapter 7

Soda flung himself out of bed, half-tangled in sheets, and made his way into the hallway where he met Darry, who had also heard the noise. Soda threw open his little brother's door, Darry close on his heels, to find a frantic Ponyboy screaming into the darkness at an unknown assailant. Sodapop rushed to his brother's side, placing his hands on each of Ponyboy's shoulders. Pony struggled for a moment. "Pony. It's okay. It's just me. It's Soda." Pony's eyes opened, his body shaking fiercely, tear tracks staining his cheeks. He all but collapsed into Soda's chest, his breath coming in gasps. Soda shushed him softly, rubbing circles on his back. He'd never seen his brother so terrified. "It's okay, honey. We're here. Darry and I are here. It's okay." Darry stood in the doorway, both wanting to go to them and not wanting to intrude. He knew Pony loved both him and Soda, but he suspected Soda's gentle nature allowed Ponyboy to have his feelings heard more easily than himself. The gang, as a whole, wasn't emotional. No one cried, or admitted to it, especially not in front of one another. The uncomfortable air that surrounded them the other day as the two boys cried for their parents was apparent. Though they had more than enough reason to bawl their eyes out, anger was typically the preferred method of letting it all out, especially Dallas. If Darry had to guess, he'd say Dally didn't have any tears in him; maybe he'd already cried them all out. Either way, seeing his brothers in such distress, made his heart ache in ways he didn't even know was possible. As he watched Soda brush the last of the tears from Pony's face, he felt his own well up. Their mom was supposed to be here to do things like this. Now it was up to him and Sodapop.

Darry crossed the room to sit on the other side of his youngest brother. "I'm sorry I woke you guys up. You can go back to sleep. I'm okay now." Ponyboy finally spoke. Though the initial fear and shaking had dissipated, Darry could tell he didn't want to be alone. Pony was still so young in so many ways. But despite his age, he wanted to be looked at as one of the gang, just as tuff, just as hard, so to speak, as the rest of them.

"Pony, what happened? What did you dream about?" Darry ignored Pony's comment and tried to catch his eye.

"I—I don't remember." Pony still leaned into Soda and he pulled away slightly, embarrassment written on his face.

"You can tell us, Pony. Something obviously has you all upset." Darry paused, thinking for a moment. "Was it about mom and dad?"

Pony shrugged. "I really don't remember Darry."

Darry nodded. "Alright. Try and get back to sleep okay." As he headed towards the door, Pony spoke, "Hey, thanks Darry." Darry smiled at his brother. "I love you little buddy." And he left.

Pony looked at Soda. "Hey, Soda. Will you stay here with me?" He looked almost ashamed to ask.

"Of course, Pony." Soda crawled across the bed so that he was closest to the door; for some reason it made him feel better to be in that spot, as if taking the spot close to the door would help Pony in some way. "Try and get some sleep okay, honey. We gotta get up for school in a few hours." Pony closed his eyes and rolled onto his side. Soda threw an arm over his baby brother, pulling him close.


	8. Chapter 8

When Darry awoke a few hours later, the rain had stopped and the birds were back to making their morning racket despite the still cold temperatures. Though it was nearly March and warmer weather would be coming soon, the chill was apparent, especially in the mornings. Darry pulled on a sweatshirt and checked on his brothers. He had no intention of waking them up to go to school, despite his original thought of keeping their minds busy. As he watched them sleep, he noticed Soda's arm wrapped around Pony, as if shielding him from something. Though jealousy crept in once again, he smiled. They needed each other, now more than ever.

Closing the door, he went to the kitchen to make breakfast. He set eggs, bacon, and bread on the counter in preparation for the meal. The boys would no doubt wake once they smelled food. Darry began cracking eggs into a bowl, whipping them into a frothy soup, then began taking the bacon from the package. As the bacon began to sizzle in the pan, the front door opened, and Darry heard Two-Bit call out. "In here." Darry replied, flipping the bacon over. "Smell the bacon all the way from your house Two-Bit?" Two-Bit had uncanny timing when it came to meals; he always seemed to show up as food was being prepared or a meal was being set out.

Two-Bit smirked at Darry, reaching into the fridge for a beer. "Nice Two. Getting a buzz before school now?"

"Hey, they're lucky I'm not drunk or hung over at the time they start classes in the morning." Two-Bit said. "I'd bet school would be a whole lot better if we all showed up wasted. Now there's an idea—"

"Two-Bit you put all that thought into school and you'd be top of the class." Darry shot back before Two-Bit could finish his thought. Once he began talking it was hard to get him to stop and Darry didn't have the energy for it this morning. "Have a seat I guess, breakfast'll be ready in a bit."

"Shouldn't Pony and Pepsi be up by now?" Two-Bit asked as he sank down into one of the kitchen chairs. He took a swig of beer, savoring the cold smoothness of it as it made its way down his throat.

Darry wondered if he should mention the nightmare and decided against it. "No, I'm not making them go today. With the funeral tomorrow, I don't think they'll be able to pay attention anyway."

Two-Bit nodded, speechless for a moment. "What time tomorrow?"

"Two." Darry sighed. He couldn't determine if having it late in the day was more helpful or hurtful. "It's the only time that was available. I'm not sure if the getting ready part or the actual funeral will be the hardest."

"That's rough man." Two-Bit offered. "How're Pony and Soda holding up?" He didn't even bother to ask Darry how he was doing; Darry would only lie and pretend he was just fine.

Darry slid some eggs and bacon on a plate and popped the toast in the toaster. "Good as they can be I guess. Pony's angry, most likely hurting like hell too but won't admit it. He tries too hard to be tough like everyone else. Soda can barely function normally. I can't remember the last time he ate a full meal."

Darry placed the plate of food in front of Two-Bit, who dug in heartily. Soda and Ponyboy emerged from Pony's room, looking as if sleep had done nothing for them. Darry doubted they slept well and when he saw their red eyes, he knew there was truth in that. He finished making the rest of the food as the two boys joined Two-Bit at the table. "Bacon and eggs and toast today guys." Was all Darry said to them. He didn't mention the night before. Ponyboy seemed hungrier than last night, which Darry took to be a good thing. Sodapop still pushed food around on his plate. He set a glass of chocolate milk in front of each of them, hoping that would get drunk at least. Two-Bit grabbed another beer from the fridge. "I've gotta head out. Thanks for breakfast, Dare." He put a hand on Soda's shoulder. "I'll see you guys tomorrow." He ruffled Pony's hair, which was returned with a glare from the youngest Curtis. Pony hated being treated like a little kid, but that's the treatment he got a lot of the time.

After Two-Bit left, Darry took a seat with a plate and a cup of coffee. "You both know we have the funeral tomorrow. I'm not going to pretend it'll be easy. It is going to be one of the hardest things we ever do. But I'll do what I can to help you guys as much as I can. I do have some phone calls I need to make today. I need to call the funeral home to check in on everything and I need to call around for jobs too."

"I can get a job too Darry." Soda spoke up. "You don't have to do all this by yourself."

"I know you want to help Soda. But you need to stay in school. That's the most important thing for you to do right now."

"I just feel a bit helpless Dare." Soda complained. "I can't get a job, I can't take care of anyone, I—" Soda paused, trying to get his bearings. "I'm so useless."

"No, Soda, you're not useless."Darry moved his chair so that he was closer to Sodapop. "You're sixteen, honey. It's not your job to have to worry about all of that."

"You shouldn't either."

"Yeah, but I have to. You don't." Darry told him simply.

"I hate this! It's not fair!" Pony left the table and walked into the living room.

"Please eat something." Darry said, putting a hand on Soda's shoulder, then moving on to the living room to talk to Pony.

"Ponyboy. I understand that you're angry." He took a seat on the couch next to a scowling Ponyboy. "Is this about tomorrow?"

"No." Ponyboy said back.

"Pony." Darry tried again. Being thirteen was hard enough, but being thirteen and having just lost your parents, would send anyone into fits of anger. Darry tried to keep his voice calm as he spoke. "We all miss them—"

"No Darry! You got twenty years with them! Twenty! Soda got sixteen! I only got thirteen." So many emotions blazed in Pony's eyes, Darry found it difficult to read just which one was strongest. "I hate this! I hate all of this! If anyone should be dead it should be Johnny's parents!"

"Ponyboy!" Darry's voice took on the tone of a scolding parent. "You listen to me—"

"No! You walk around here like you don't even care that they're dead! "

"Now you know that's not true Ponyboy."

"The hell it isn't! You probably can't wait to ship us off to a boys' home. Sure would make everything a damn lot easier for you!"

"You know what would make my life easier? Mom and dad being here, but that isn't going to happen so we're just gonna have to get on without them whether we like it or not." Darry spoke sternly, the anger and resentment coming to the surface. "You have got to understand, Pony, that this isn't what any of us want, but it is what we have to deal with. We don't have any choice in the matter. So you need to get your head on straight and realize we can't tear apart the only part of our family we have left."

"I'm gonna go have a smoke." Pony said after a moment, getting up and taking his pack of cigarettes, walked out the door. Darry didn't stop him; maybe it would calm him down.

Darry went back to the kitchen to find Soda washing up from breakfast. He helped put things away, and once they were finished, Soda walked out onto the porch to get Ponyboy. "Darry?" He said, poking his head back inside the house.

"Yeah?" Darry replied, looking up from the paperwork he'd been given by the social worker.

"Pony's gone."


	9. Chapter 9

Shit." Darry breathed. He stood, grabbing his keys off the table. "Soda, you stay here in case Pony shows up." He reached for his jacket, "Call the gang and have them meet me at the lot in half an hour."

"But Darry—" Soda began. He didn't want to just sit around and wait for his baby brother to show up; he wanted to be there alongside Darry helping find him.

"Soda, please. Someone has to stay here and I need you to do that for me okay? Tell Steve to come by and wait with you." Soda nodded, standing by the door until Darry's truck was out of sight. He sat on the couch and began to call the guys. He didn't get ahold of either Dally or Johnny, but Two-Bit said he'd be waiting for Darry in the lot and Steve showed up at the house about ten minutes later.

"What the hell happened, man?" Steve asked as he took a seat on the couch next to Sodapop.

"I have no idea, Steve. Pony went out to have a smoke and when I went to get him he was gone."

"Y'all have fight or something?" Steve questioned. The three of them didn't fight much, but it happened. Plus, Steve wasn't exactly Pony's biggest fan.

"Not exactly." Soda brushed a hand through his hair. "I think Pony is upset about tomorrow and he seems to think Darry doesn't want him and that he and I will get sent to a boy's home."

"Are you kidding me?" Steve knew the relationship between the brothers, and knew Darry would never do anything to send either one of them away. "Darry loves that kid. And we all know he's basically your shadow, so I don't see that changing."

"Yeah." Soda was getting worried by this point, and not just about Pony's disappearance, but he didn't want to tell Steve that. "Where do you think he got off to?"

"No tellin'" Steve leaned back against the couch, slouching into the cushions. "Kid's probably off with Johnny somewhere."

"I hope so. He's an easy target walking out there on his own."

Darry cruised around the neighborhood first, before heading to the lot. He didn't know when Ponyboy had left, and even if it had been a short time ago, he was fast, but Darry hoped that he was just taking a walk and would be nearby. After about fifteen minutes, and no luck, he drove to the lot to see Two-Bit already waiting for him. He pulled up alongside the dark-haired boy, who was leaning against a tree, smoking a cigarette. "Hey, Two."

"When'd the kid go missing?"

"Sometime after breakfast. " Darry reached over to open the door for his friend. "Get in. I'm not sure how far he went and I'm starting to get worried about him getting jumped."

Two-Bit stubbed out his cigarette and climbed into the truck. Nearly forty minutes had passed and there was no sign of the youngest greaser. Darry was beginning to wonder if Pony had made it back home, at least he was hoping he did. "I guess Soda only got ahold of you."

"As far as I know Dally's at Shepherd's and Johnny is probably anywhere by home. Kind of surprised I didn't find him here."

"It's possible Pony ran into him and they went off somewhere." Darry suggested. Those two were especially close and Darry honestly hoped they were together, the odds being somewhat better if there were two of them.

Darry pulled the truck back onto the road, the two of them searching the streets for the young Curtis. Darry felt in the pit of his stomach that something bad would happen if they didn't find him soon.

Soda paced back and forth, nervously biting his nails. "Sodapop will you have a seat already?" Steve snapped. "You're wearing a hole in the damn carpet."

Soda stopped and glanced at Steve before resuming his pacing. "He should be home by now. I hope Darry found him."

"I'm sure he's fine Soda. Kid probably went to the lot and fell asleep." Steve was clearly not nearly as concerned for Pony's safety as Sodapop was.

"Then he'd be home by now. It's been over an hour." Soda stopped pacing and looked at Steve. "Maybe we should go to the lot. Or help look at least. I can't just sit here and wait. Something bad is gonna happen and I'll be here at home, not able to stop any of it."

"Look, Sodapop, he's got Darry and Two-Bit on his side. He'll be okay." Steve began, but the look on Soda's face had him rethinking his position. "Grab a jacket. We'll go on foot, maybe see something they missed from the truck."

Soda didn't hesitate at the suggestion, grabbing his jacket from the couch and practically running out the door. Steve followed his best friend through the door, jumping off the porch steps like they were headed to a rumble. Steve guiltily felt a twinge of excitement at the prospect of being the heroes that found Ponyboy. All Soda cared about was getting his brother back home in one piece, not matter how it happened.

"Darry! Darry!" A screeching cry came from the quiet of the early morning. Darry nearly slammed on the brakes, the truck coming to a halt in the middle of the road, the figure quickly approaching the vehicle at a run. Opening the door to the truck, Darry stepped from the truck just as Johnny appeared in front of him, panicked and out of breath. Darry tried to hold in his concern; he needed to keep his mind clear at the moment.

"Johnny! What happened?"

'It's—Ponyboy—he's-." Johnny gasped. Darry didn't let him finish. He grabbed Johnny by the shoulders.

"Show me where." He told him. Johnny, Darry, and Two-Bit took off in the direction Johnny had come from. No, Darry kept thinking, nothing else can happen. Nothing bad can happen to Ponyboy. Please, he prayed, to God, or to his parents, he didn't know who, please don't let anything happen to my brother. They didn't have to go far, a block or so away the boys saw a figure curled up on the concrete, and Darry nearly lost his breath.

"Darry! Darry!" A voice called through the haze of the sun coming up over the horizon. At the sound of his brother's name, Soda stopped dead in his tracks, panting heavily. He listened again, but all he could hear was a few dogs barking at the noise that had interrupted their sleep. He knew the voice didn't belong to Pony, but Johnny. What did that mean? Did something happen to Pony? Looking at the greaser at his side, Sodapop breathed just one word through his fear. "Hurry."

The two boys raced in the direction of the voice, eventually seeing three figures taking off in the opposite direction. Recognizing Darry's truck, Steve and Sodapop followed who they assumed to be Johnny, Darry and Two-Bit to a darkened street, lit only by single lamppost. His heart caught in his throat. "NO!" He screamed. Ponyboy lie in a heap on the cold ground, seemingly unmoving. Panic seized Soda as he joined the rest of the gang huddled over the boy. This could not be happening. Not Ponyboy too.


	10. Chapter 10

He walked out the door of the house and onto the front porch. All he needed was a cigarette then he could go back in and join his brothers. The funeral was tomorrow; everyone was on edge. He leaned against a post on the porch smoking, lazily letting the haze spiral into the early morning air. It was still winter, the sun still coming up later into the morning and it didn't help the chill that followed the night.

Ponyboy eventually stubbed his cigarette out beneath his high tops, and put his hands in his pockets. He sighed. He still wasn't ready to go into the house and face Darry. After contemplating smoking a second cigarette, Ponyboy decided maybe he'd feel better after taking a walk. He glanced back at the house, wondering for a moment if he should tell Darry, but decided against it; it would do him no good to talk to Darry, he'd just tell him no. He stepped off the porch and headed down the street, not looking back as he walked towards the lot. Maybe he'd find Johnny there.

About ten minutes into his walk, Pony started to get nervous. He didn't know why, but he felt like he was being followed. He checked the area, glancing over his shoulder and eyeing the street ahead of himself. There was nothing. As he continued to walk, he couldn't shake the feeling someone was watching him. He decided to turn back and head for home, and he quickened his pace as he started in the opposite direction. His senses heightened, he kept checking his surroundings, though trying to be discreet about it.

All of a sudden, he heard the unmistakable sound of a Mustang pulling up alongside him, the snickering laughter of the Socs making him nervous. "Hey, Greaser." The blond driver sneered, one hand on the wheel, the other hanging out the car window, fingers tapping away at the side of the vehicle, the ping ping ping sounding like gunfire in his head. "Nice morning for a walk isn't it, Greaser?" Ponyboy kept walking, barely looking in their direction, though he did notice the way 'Greaser' slithered from the Soc's mouth. "Aw, c'mon Greaser, we're just talking, right James?" He smiled at the younger boy sitting in the seat beside him.

Pony didn't answer, he just wanted to get home. Why had he said left? Why didn't he just keep his mouth shut; it was always getting him in trouble. "Maybe we could walk with you little Grease." One of the guys in the backseat commented. "Shame you're out here all by your lonesome."

Ponyboy swallowed hard and upped his pace, the car also quickening it's speed. "I think we should join you. Can't be too careful." The second one in the back agreed. As they leapt from the car, Ponyboy took off at a run, but they were too fast, and there were too many. The driver had stopped the vehicle and clamored out with the rest of them; four against one. Two of them grabbed his arms, the other two, his legs. Ponyboy tried to fight, and though the day was beginning, the sun starting to peek over the horizon, no one noticed, or at least, no one tried to stop them. Pony yelled, but one of the Socs clapped a hand over his mouth. They got him on the ground, each taking a turn getting their digs in, his ribs burning with each blow. Fists and feet came at him from all directions and he scrambled and fought against them; it was useless. They laughed and sneered at him as they beat at his body, until they were satisfied, and Pony lie on the hard ground, not daring to move. And as they left him, shivering and in pain, he heard one of them say under his breath. "Told you it wasn't safe out here on your own, Greaser."

Eventually, as he heard them drive off, he felt himself growing weak, the pain worsening as he tried to move. The darkness overwhelmed him at some point, and he wasn't sure how long had passed before he heard Johnny's voice, though he couldn't open his eyes to greet it. Later on, Darry and Two-Bit, then Soda and Steve. Reality settled around him and he forced his eyes open, squinting against the light that had turned night into day


	11. Chapter 11

Pony!"

"C'mon Pony, wake up!"

"Pony!"

Ponyboy rolled onto his back, and looked at the faces hovering over to him. Soda promptly burst into tears and nearly crushed him in a hug. Darry smiled, his own eyes filling. "Pony. What the hell were you thinking? Are you hurt?"

Ponyboy shook his head. He was sore, bruised on his arms and torso; they had at least spared his face. He pulled himself to a sitting position, Darry and Soda both helping him. He was dizzy and disoriented, shaking from the trauma to his body, both scared and embarrassed by the state he was in. However, he was alive, could move all of his limbs and was coherent enough to make sense of the people surrounding him. Darry told him to just sit there for a minute while he looked him over, and Pony knew better than to argue. Darry could easily hold him down if needed and Pony preferred to stay upright.

After Darry was finished, he spoke again, "You look okay, but we'll get you home and check you over more thoroughly." He shook his head. "Pony what the hell were you thinking coming out here by yourself? You gotta use your head. Especially now."

Ponyboy looked at the ground. "I know. I'm sorry." Soda was still sniffling and that made Pony feel even worse. "Soda, Darry I really didn't mean to scare you. And I'm sorry all of you had to come looking for me. It wasn't fair. I—I guess I just needed to get out, this is all so much—"

Darry sighed and helped Ponyboy to his feet. "Look, I know this is a horrible, scary, awful situation to be in, but we are and we have to deal with it. We can't jump all over each other, Pone." Ponyboy nodded, staring at his feet. "Let's get home." Darry said, the five of them walking back to Darry's truck.

On the way home, Ponyboy recounted the events with the Socs, and Darry wore a tight expression, both wanting to turn back and find the Socs and wanting to beat Pony himself for pulling something like that. The rest of the gang listened with rapt attention, Steve and Two-Bit sat riveted, while Soda couldn't take his eyes off of Pony, as if the simple act would make him disappear. Johnny kept his attention to the window, watching the scenery go by, blood thumping in his ears. He didn't say a word and he anxiously played with a hole in his jeans. He'd seen too much first hand to want to hear what had happened; finding Ponyboy had been hard enough.

Once home, Darry made sure nothing was too badly damaged, torn, or beaten, before giving Pony some aspirin and making him lie down for awhile. Though Ponyboy insisted he was okay, Darry wanted him well rested for the next day and knew Pony was going to be sore, making it harder for him to sleep at night.

The rest of the gang fell onto the couches, each trying to imagine what had just happened. Not only had they gotten the horrifying news that the Curtis brothers just lost their parents, but Pony had disappeared, distraught and unable to cope. Darry was beginning to realize exactly what having custody of his brothers was going to entail and it was more intense and real than he could have imagined.

Tomorrow was his parent's funeral and he was going to have to protect his brothers with every part of himself. Tomorrow was going to be the hardest day of their lives and Darry didn't know how they were going to get through it.

The rest of the day was spent in a blur of phone calls, paperwork, and quiet. No one said much, the events from the past few days settling over the house like a dark cloud. Too many things had happened in the past few days; it was like once their parents were gone the whole world was falling apart. Darry just hoped it wasn't a precursor to the rest of their lives.

At about seven o'clock that night, after the boys had finished dinner and gathered on the front porch, each thinking about the next day, Darry spoke into the night, a slight smile playing on his lips, an odd sight with all that had happened. "So," He began, his voice sounding loud in the quiet of the evening. "I got a job."

"Really?" Soda and Ponyboy both asked, their voices full of excitement for the first time in awhile.

Darry nodded, seemingly proud of the accomplishment, even if the reason for it wasn't what he had wanted. The moonlight lit his face in a hazy glow, brightening the mood even more.

"That's so great Darry!" Soda added. "Doing what?"

"Roofin'" Darry told them, rubbing his hands on his knees. "Should pay pretty well."

"You know I—" Soda began but Darry cut him off.

"School, Sodapop. Okay?" Darry knew what Soda was going to ask and they had been through this daily. His answer was still no.

"Yeah." Soda agreed reluctantly. "When do you start?"

"Monday." Darry told them. "I wanted to give us the rest of the weekend."

The conversation fell quiet, their thoughts returning to tomorrow. The crickets hummed into the night, the stars glinting in the dark sky. Tomorrow would be the worst day of their lives, but right in this moment, the calm took over and the brothers were grateful for this one positive look into their future.


	12. Chapter 12

The next morning, the brothers woke in various stages of sadness. It hung in the house like a darkness, gloom invading every aspect of their beings. Darry cooked breakfast, though no one ate anything; Ponyboy sat at the table and picked at his food, Soda sunk low in his chair, tears forming in his eyes. The reality of the day wasn't lost on anyone despite the good news they'd received the night before.

Darry joined the boys at the table, an untouched cup of coffee clasped in one hand. He sighed, running a hand through his ungreased hair, not bothering to make the effort. "Guys, I know today is awful. I don't really know how to get us through it." He felt like he should have something to say to help his brothers, but the grief was sneaking up on him again and he didn't know what was going to make it any better. He sat up a bit in his chair, hoping his body language would inspire him to get it together. "I'm gonna try." When he saw the looks on his brother's faces, his heart sank. They were destroyed all over again. It was like they were just told their parents were killed, reliving the horror of that night, and the actual funeral wasn't for a few hours. Darry stood and walked around the table, crouching down next to his brothers. "I know this is impossibly hard. I wish they were here too." The younger boys nodded. Darry was being so strong, so together, despite what was to come. "There are going to be people here, after the funeral. Dad and Mom's friends and some family that live out of town. So we need to clean really well, and later on make sure we are showered and dressed nicely."

"Why do people have to come here Darry?" Pony had a whining tone in his voice, despite being thirteen years old. He felt much younger, wanting nothing more than to cuddle up with his mom and have her tell him everything was going to be okay, just like when he was small.

"Aww, Pony, people want to pay their respects. They want to remember mom and dad just like we do. Them coming here is how they show they care about all of us. It may not be what we want right now, or what we think we want, but it'll be good to see people who knew mom and dad and maybe have someone to lean on a bit." Darry watched his brother's sad eyes and wished he could tell him everything was going to be fine, that they were going to be fine. But there was still so many things on his mind; the funeral and everyone coming by after it was over, getting custody of his brothers, starting work in a few days. He had some big decisions come out of left field and he had to deal with them, whether he wanted to or not. And part of that was taking care of his brothers.

""I'll tell you what, you two get some clothes together and put them in my room. I'll iron them. Take showers, and let's get some things done, maybe keep our minds busy." Darry suggested, though that may backfire considering that everything they were doing was in preparation to put their parents in the ground.

The next few hours passed slowly, each taking their turn in the shower, getting dressed in the clothes Darry ironed and laid out for them, and making sure the house was ready for company.

Around one the gang showed up, dressed in suits, something none of them had ever witnessed, yet under the circumstances, no one commented on. Johnny immediately went to Ponyboy and wrapped him in a hug. Pony melted into his friend, tears making their way down his cheeks. He allowed himself a moment of grief, before pulling away and wiping his eyes on his sleeve. The rest of the gang filed in offering hugs and mumbling once again how awful it all was. They were not used to this kind of death, the one that reaches in and chokes you from the inside out, not leaving any room left for air. After a few more words exchanged, they all piled into the two vehicles and headed towards the funeral home.

The unseemly building stared them down as they pulled into the parking lot; the dark awnings over the doorways, the flowerbeds that probably held roses in the spring, were bare and a poor reflection of the feelings that filtered through the group. They were silent as they made their way into the building, where the funeral director met them in the lobby, again offering his condolences, and showing them down a hallway with staggered doors on either side. Too many doors, too many people missed, Darry thought as they passed. Once they reached the third door on the left, the man stopped and opened the door for them, nodding at each boy as they passed into the room. Through the years Mr. Bartlett, the owner of the funeral home, had seen his share of tragedy. Losing a parent was awful, losing both, especially at such a young age, was unspeakable, and the only thing worse, in his mind, was to lose a child, and unfortunately he had seen too many of those as well. Many thought that to be in this business you had to be heartless, but, just the opposite, Mr. Bartlett wanted to make the grieving process transition into a healing one, and since it had to happen regardless, he was honored to be the one to help so many people get to that point.

The door shut behind them, leaving the group alone with the weight of the day. Soft music filtered into the room from hidden speakers, and dim lights made the room seem to glow, tissues were strategically placed on tables and benches, inviting them to share their sadness with the world. And at the front of the room, beyond the church-like seating, lie two caskets, one for their mother, and one for their father. The brothers approached the place where their parents were now resting, though would not be their final resting place; that would come later. Darry gripped his brother's hands tightly, offering what little strength he had left. The gang held back, an unspoken gesture between them, to allow the brother's a few moments alone with their parents.

They reached the front of the room, where Soda promptly burst into tears, and Ponyboy turned his face into Darry's arm. Darry closed his eyes and drew his brother's close to him, enveloping them with strong arms, like the ones that belonged to their father. They stood there awhile, falling apart, but leaning on each other, as they would now have to moving forward.

The tears finally turned to sniffles, each of the boys once again turning to face the boxes that now held their parents. The rest of the gang moved to join them, putting their arms around the brothers for support, though Dallas and Steve hung back a bit. Two-Bit and Johnny already had tears in their eyes, though they tried to hide it. It didn't matter though, no one really felt the need to be tuff today.

Darry had made sure the caskets were closed, not wanting to see and remember his parents by anything other than the last time he'd seen them. He didn't have to identify the bodies, their mother having hers in her purse, their father, his wallet, and he was thankful for that. He didn't know what kind of condition they were in from the crash and he didn't wish to know. Neither Ponyboy nor Sodapop had asked to see their parents and he was glad for that too. He didn't know what he would have done had they asked. With Pony having nightmares, and Soda not eating, he didn't think they could handle much more.

Thirty minutes passed quickly, each of the boys drifting to a seat on one of the benches. Johnny sat with an arm around Pony, Ponyboy trying to keep his composure and failing miserably. Soda sat with Steve, Two-Bit, and Dally, none of them speaking, glancing every so often at the caskets, a reminder that all of this was very real. Darry stood at the door, speaking with Mr. Bartlett in a quiet voice, until the man left and Darry returned to the benches, taking a seat next to Pony and Johnny. "Soda, come here for a minute." Soda stood and walked to where Darry, Pony and Johnny were sitting and sat back down next to Ponyboy. Johnny stood to go, but Darry shook his head. "Uh uh, you're family Johnnycake." And Johnny took his seat once more. "Guys, the rest of you come on over too." The rest of the gang gathered around Darry, each silently waiting for whatever Darry was going to say. "A lot of people are going to start arriving soon, some may come and go and some may stay for the whole service. But I'm going to tell you right now that it's perfectly okay to feel whatever it is you're feeling. You can be angry, sad, pissed off, whatever it is. And it's all okay. No one is going to shame you for any of it. But you also need to be kind and respectful to everyone who comes through that door. They miss mom and dad too. And no matter what you may think, they are all going to want to help and it's ok to let them, but it's also okay to tell them that we will be okay."

"Will we Darry?" Pony asked, his voice small.

"We will Pony." Darry looked at his brothers. "It may take time, but we will be okay." He tried to give them all a reassuring smile, but none of them were buying it. How in the world were they supposed to get through losing their parents? Even the gang thought of them that way, and this day was hard for them too.

They all looked up as the door opened and a few people trickled into the room. Darry stood to greet them, hugs and tears exchanged as they moved to the benches or chairs, all stopping to speak to Ponyboy and Sodapop, who now stood at the front of their seats. All of the people who showed up, had wonderful things to say about their parents, and by the time they took their seats again, they felt just the slightest bit better knowing their parents were loved by so many people.

The funeral director stepped up to the podium to give his speech. "I'd like to take the moment to introduce myself. I am August Bartlett, director here at Bartlett Funeral Home. And today as you gather to share in the memories and love that so very clearly surrounded these two wonderful people, know that we are here to support you in your time of need. Today we honor Darrel Shaynne Curtis Senior and Amelia James Curtis, whose lives, though cut short, were full of the love they had for one another as well as their children. They are survived by their three sons, Darrel, Sodapop, and Ponyboy. First, their eldest son Darrel will say a few words about his parents, and the rest of you may choose to come to the podium to speak about your loved ones however you may wish to choose to remember them. Darrel." He nodded to Darry, who approached the podium, thanking the man, who then took his leave, to give the family some privacy.

Darry wasn't necessarily nervous about speaking in front of all the people who had come to show their love for their parents, but it wasn't something he looked forward to doing. He didn't even mention it to his brothers, knowing they'd try and stop him, telling him it wasn't necessary to speak in front of all those people. Darry really didn't mind the amount of people, just the reason for having to speak in the first place. He cleared his throat and glanced at his brothers, who looked both nervous and proud. "Our parents loved each other more than anyone I've ever met. And they loved us even more, as impossible as that seems. Neither one ever said a hateful word to any of us, rather showed us how to respect one another, as well as those around us. They never raised their voices unless necessary, but you can bet that with three young boys in the house we deserved it more than not. Our parents always told us that above all else to take care of each other." He looked at his brothers. Ponyboy had tears streaming down his cheeks and Soda was sobbing openly, Steve rubbing his back, trying his best to offer comfort, while trying to keep it together himself. "I will do anything and everything that I can to protect, guide, and be there for my brothers." He paused, taking a deep breath and blowing it out before continuing. "Our parents would have loved to see how many people loved them. Thank you for coming here to support us and show how much you cared about them." He sniffed, nodded at the men and women in the crowded room, and stepped down, wrapping his brothers in a hug, before taking a seat between them.

A man with slicked back hair and a brown suit stepped up to the podium next. His eyes were rimmed red, but he kept his composure as he spoke. "Hi, my name's John Curtis, Darrel's brother. I want to start off by saying how deeply sorry I am that you boys have lost your parents." He said, acknowledging the brothers, who were now huddled together, the two younger ones with tear streaked faces, Darry holding it together, but barely. "No child your age should have to be without their mom and dad and if I can do anything for you you let me know." He turned back to everyone else, continuing his speech. "Darrel and I grew up together, literally. We are only a year or so apart in age so we spent a lot of time together." He smiled as a memory came to him. "I remember once when he was about sixteen and I was fifteen, we snuck out of the house after being grounded for something stupid, I don't even remember what we did. But we snuck out and went to a bonfire that had a bunch of people getting crazy drunk and playing loud music. We thought it was the best thing in the world. We jumped right in, finding some guys we knew from school and each one of us grabbed a bottle of beer. We had no idea where it came from or who paid for it, but we didn't care. We wanted to have a good time. Neither one of us drank much that night and nothing too exciting happened, but we did it together and that was the fun of it" He paused, looking over at the brothers once again. "And that was the night he met your mother." The three of them looked up; they'd never heard this story before. "We both got our asses whooped that night when our dad found out, but your dad has always said it was worth it because of your mom. He told me that night he was gonna marry her. As awful as this tragedy is, it's right they went together. They loved you boys more than their own lives and though they never would have wished this on you for anything, they are looking down on you proud as can be, and happy it was them and not you. You will always be connected through your parents and the love they had for one another. And as you said, Darry, I've never seen anyone else in my entire life love your mama the way your father did. You've grown into the man he wanted you to be and I know you'll take care of your brothers the way he would have. Life isn't always what you want it to be and often times it hits you like a freight train, but one good thing came out of this and that's you boys. He told me that all the time, that his life was perfect because he had your mom and he had you. I love you boys." He stepped down and went to hug each of the boys, before returning to his seat.

Many people stepped up to the podium to share their stories and memories of Mr. and Mrs. Curtis, each person bringing laughter and tears to those listening and watching. The brothers took each story to heart, knowing that they were getting new memories of their parents that they could hold on to for the rest of their lives.

After the speeches were finished, they all followed the processional to the grave site, where both of Darrel Curtis Senior's parents were buried. A few more words were said, the caskets were lowered into the ground, they knew from that moment on, their lives were forever changed. This wasn't just an idea anymore, it was real now more than ever; they were in front of them, in a box, in the ground, and nothing was ever going to be the same again.

The three boys stood there long after everyone had left, their friends flanking them on either side, not daring to leave them alone quite yet. After a long period of silence, the day wearing on the boys, Darry spoke. "We should get back to the house. People will be getting there pretty soon."

"I can't." Ponyboy said, after the rest of them had turned to go. "I can't leave them." Darry sighed and put an arm around his youngest brother. "Come on, Pone. We'll go together."


	13. Chapter 13

As people filed out of the house after the reception, many of them once again offering to allow the boys to stay with them, which Darry politely turned down, the Curtis brothers, along with their friends, fell onto the couches in exhaustion, the day taking its toll on them all. Darry looked around at all the house, surprisingly clean after so many people had come through it. One of their parent's friends, Lydia, had cleaned every single dish in the house before she left, and refused Darry's attempts at helping her. 'You've had enough to worry about without a sink full of dirty dishes', she'd said. Darry had thanked her, and made his rounds speaking to every guest who had taken the time to pay their respects. Many of the visitors had also left dishes, both fresh and frozen, that were packed into their freezer and on the counter in the kitchen. They wouldn't have to cook for at least a week or two. Darry was thankful for that as well. So many people had been so caring, sharing so many stories with them of their parents.

At one point, Ponyboy had been talking to a family member named Gus, one of their cousins, who was laughing, telling Pony a story about their father and grilling hamburgers, when Pony felt himself smiling, beginning to laugh along with him. Once he realized what he was doing, he clapped a hand over his mouth and fled the room. Darry found him sitting on the front porch, he himself having disengaged from a conversation with his mother's sisters the moment he noticed Pony had walked out the front door. He didn't need him disappearing again.

Pony sat with his chin in his hands, and didn't look up when Darry sat down next to him. Darry draped a jacket he'd grabbed on the way out the door over

Pony's shoulders, and put his hands in his own pockets. "Why'd you come out here Pony?"

"Gus was telling me about how dad had been grilling burgers on the grill but didn't thaw them out first so he charred the outside and the inside was still frozen." Pony said, the thought of his father laughing at his own idiocy nearly made him laugh again, but he stopped himself. He noticed Darry smiling at the thought as well. "Darry! I laughed! I laughed when I shouldn't laugh."

"Oh, Pony, it's okay to laugh." Darry told him. "It was funny. Dad would have laughed too."

"But they are gone, Darry, how can I laugh when they are gone?"

"Pone, do you think mom and dad would be mad or upset with you for laughing at something that was funny?" When Pony shook his head Darry continued. "Honey, no one wants to sit around and cry all day long. It's okay to be sad, but it's also okay to think about things you loved about them and remember all the fun times you shared. That's what everyone here is trying to do."

Ponyboy shrugged in his jacket, pulling it tighter around himself. The sun had already set and the winter chill was biting, seeping through his clothing. "I just feel so guilty."

"I know you do. I do too, at times. You feel like you shouldn't be happy at all because they can't be right?" Ponyboy nodded, letting out a deep sigh. "But Pony sometimes you need to just allow yourself to feel whatever comes. Don't fight it. Don't force yourself to be miserable." Darry brushed a hand through Pony's hair, got up, and walked back into the house, leaving Ponyboy alone with his thoughts.

Once Ponyboy returned to the reception, Soda found him and asked how he was doing. Ponyboy could tell Sodapop had been crying. It was off and on all day with Soda, the tears coming as if out of nowhere, the overwhelming sadness finding him at odd times, and leaving abruptly as well. Ponyboy told Soda he didn't know how he was feeling. His heart ached for his parents, but he was enjoying hearing all these stories and after talking to Darry, he didn't feel as badly about smiling every once in a while.

The rest of the time the guests were in their house, the Curtis brothers tried their best to be as welcoming as possible, keeping their sorrow to a minimum, and telling a few stories of their own. After the first few people left, the rest followed suit, and all at once their house was empty. The chatter and laughter that had been there moments before was gone, and the silence took over. It seemed that no one wanted to be the first to say anything, until Two-Bit finally spoke up. "Is anyone else as hungry as I am?"

The rest of the boys nodded, Pony not having remembered eating at all that day. They went into the kitchen, a few of them picking at the leftover food still set out on the table from the afternoon. Darry took one of the lasagnas on the counter and removed the foil from the top. He set the oven to the correct temperature and grabbed a handful of chips sitting in the bowl closest to him.

After the lasagna was finished, they all ate heartily, Pony and Soda included, which loosened some of the tension in his shoulders. "It was nice." Soda said finally. Everyone looked at him, shocked by his words.

"What?" Dally asked, taking a sip from the bottle of Coke he had resting on his knee. "Soda, what are you talking about?"

"Just the way that everyone came here and all the people that cared about mom and dad. It was nice." Soda explained.

They all nodded in agreement. It felt awkward sitting there without their parents, but having their friends with them helped. It would be harder once they all went home for the night.

Darry didn't start his job with the roofing company and wanted to spend the next few days going over the adoption paperwork. After Soda and Ponyboy went to bed for the night, he sat at the kitchen table staring at the packet of papers the social worker had given him earlier in the week. After about an hour the words began to blur together, and Darry realized his eyes had filled with tears. He wiped them away, allowing himself to slump down into his chair. He turned his head towards what was now Pony and Soda's room. Soda insisted on sleeping with Ponyboy the past few nights, as Pony's dreams hadn't improved. He could just hear the quiet sobbing of his youngest brother and the soft murmurs of Soda trying to offer comfort. Darry sighed, feeling both helpless and exhausted from the day. As Ponyboy's tears subsided, Darry decided to call it a night. "Please help us get through this." He said, to God, to his parents, to whoever was listening. "I can't do all of this on my own." He drifted off to sleep thinking about how different his life now was and hoped his parents would be happy with the choices he would have to make in the coming days.


	14. Chapter 14

The next couple of days passed by without much excitement, Darry completing the paperwork, Soda and Pony slowly coming to terms that their parents were not going to come home ever again. Darry made a few phone calls that Friday, getting a court date for two weeks from then. However, having a specific direction to head in helped lift some of the weight from Darry's shoulders.

Monday, as Darry got ready for his first day on the job, Pony walked into his room, still in his rumpled t-shirt and underwear from the night before. Darry looked up from tying his boots. "Pone?" Darry took in what he was wearing and gave a concerned look. "Why aren't you ready for school?"

Ponyboy lingered in the doorway, fidgeting with the hem of his worn t-shirt. "I don't feel very good." Pony had just the right amount of whine in his voice to sound a few years younger than he was.

Darry finished tying his boot and stood from his seat on the bed, moving on to his belt. "Now, Pony, you have to go to school."

"But I really feel sick Darry." Pony pressed, moving further into the room, still fingering his shirt, rolling it between his fingers.

"Honey, I know it's going to be hard going back to school, but you can't just stay home. I have to work, and Soda will be there." Darry told him. "Besides, you like school." Darry tried a small smile, hoping to coax Ponyboy out of his gloom. When Pony didn't move, sadness etched on his face, Darry strode over to him and put his hands on Pony's shoulders. "What's going on huh?"

"I sick, Darry. I told you. I have a headache." Ponyboy looked at Darry, his eyes beginning to shine. "My stomach hurts."

"Pony, it's okay to be scared and nervous about going back." Darry told him.

"I'm not scared Darry!" Pony shouted, shoving out from under Darry's grip. "I'm sick!" Pony ran out of the room and back into his own. Darry sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He met Soda in the hallway as he was coming out of the bathroom.

"Soda, you ready to go?" He asked.

"Sure, Dare. What's up with Pony?" Soda could hear the tears starting, small sniffles coming from what he now considered to be Pony and his room.

"First day back isn't sitting so well with him." Darry said.

"What? Pony loves school." Soda wasn't a big fan of school himself. He'd rather be working alongside Darry than attending his Junior year.

"Yeah, I know. Look, I gotta get to work." Darry put a hand on Soda's arm. "See that he gets to school today would you Pepsi?"

"Sure." Soda answered, watching Darry head out the front door, and feeling the weight of a house without parents. Their mom typically had breakfast ready, seeing them off to school just like when they were little. Soda would miss that. Checking the clock, he realized they had about twenty minutes before they had to leave for school. He walked into the bedroom to find Ponyboy sitting with his legs pulled up to his chest, his head resting on his knees. Tear streaks lined his face. Soda sat next to his brother, placing a hand gently on his head. "Hey, Pone." He said quietly. Pony sniffed and turned his head away. "Hey, c'mon."

"I'm not going Soda. I'm sick." Pony told him, a few tears leaking from his eyes.

"Pony, we both know you're not sick." Soda tugged on Pony's arm, gently pulling him from his curled up position. Soda shifted his body so that he was facing his brother. "Honey, I know this is hard. I miss them too." Soda felt his voice crack, his own eyes filling with unshed tears. "But sometimes you just have to keep going. And, hey, I'll be there with you." The junior and senior high schools were on the same campus, Pony finishing up his eighth grade year in the lower building, while Soda attended the Senior High. "You can come talk to me whenever you need to." As much as Soda dreaded going to school, hated the fact that he would be stuck in a classroom all day, he was happy he could be there for his brother. Pony didn't make a move to get up and Soda wrapped his arms around the younger Curtis. As Sodapop held his brother, his head resting on the top of Pony's, he began to sing to him, "Someday I'll wish upon a star, wake up where the clouds are far behind me. Where trouble melts like lemon drops, high above the chimney top, that's where you'll find me." His voice was soft and sweet as he recited the song their mother used to sing to them when they were little to calm them down. Soda used to love listening to their mother sing. She had a beautiful voice, another trait Sodapop had inherited from her. She would spend many nights comforting them after nightmares or when they were sick. No matter how they were feeling, it would make them feel better. Soda hoped it had that effect on Pony now.

Ponyboy looked at his brother, tears in his eyes, and gave him a small smile. "Mom used to sing that."

"Yeah." Soda said, his voice a whisper, his own tears having mixed with Pony's. "Yeah, she did."

"Thanks, Soda." Pony told him.

Soda let go of Pony and sat up, wiping his eyes with his arm. "Let's get to school, okay?"

Pony nodded and stood, reaching for his jeans and a t-shirt that hung over the chair to the desk. "Soda?"

"Yeah, Pone?" Soda had stood as well and was collecting his books from the floor and shoving them into his bag.

"Do you think we'll get to stay with Darry?" Pony pulled on his jeans and looked towards Soda, his tears having dried up.

Soda thought for a moment, picking his bag up off the floor and slinging it over his shoulder. "I think Darry will do whatever it takes to make that happen."

Ponyboy smiled, finished getting dressed, and began gathering his school things as well. "Good." They walked to the front door, finally ready to head to school. "I wouldn't want to see what happens to the person who takes us away from Darry."

Soda laughed, ruffling Pony's hair, a gesture that got a smirk from the younger boy. "Yeah, me either, Pone, me either."


	15. Chapter 15

The next couple of weeks passed by with little happening, a relief to all of the gang, but the looming court date sat in the pit of their stomachs, Darry especially. Tomorrow, they would decide if Ponyboy and Sodapop would stay with Darry or get sent to a boy's home. That very possibility gave Darry an uneasy feeling, his stomach in knots. He poured himself into his work, putting all of his fears into the heaviest bundle of roofing he could manage. The pounding of the nails was almost mesmerizing, the steady bang, bang, bang, a sort of lullaby, keeping his thoughts where they needed to be instead of where they always were the second the hammer stopped.

After losing his parents, Darry settled into their new reality with an ease most would consider heartless, but Darry knew if he thought about the death of the two people he'd known for twenty years of his life, he'd fall apart, and no one was going to be there to pick up the pieces. He knew it was his job now to take care of his brothers and he would do anything in the entire world to make that happen.

As they sat around the dinner table the evening before the hearing, Darry noticed Pony picking at his food. "How are you guys feeling about tomorrow?"

Pony shrugged, staring down into his plate of spaghetti and Soda leaned back in his chair, silently fingering the napkin in his lap. "You know this is just a formality right? That no one has any reason whatsoever to take you guys out of this house and away from me?" Pony sniffled, still not looking up at anyone. Soda shifted in his chair. "I know this isn't exactly something you guys want to think about, but we are going tomorrow no matter if we discuss it or not. I want to make sure you understand what is going to happen, and if there are any questions, that we talk about them. I want to know how you are feeling. Maybe I can help you with all of that. It's what I'm here for."

"I hate all of this. Why can't we just stay here? Why can't we just stay here with you and tell them to leave us alone?" Ponyboy sounded so young and scared at times, but usually he wanted to be a part of the gang and didn't show much emotion.

"Aw, Pone, I sure wish it were that easy, honey, but I'm afraid there's more to it than just that." Darry explained. "But guys, I promise you nothing bad is going to happen."

"What if it does?" Soda spoke up. "What if they decide us being with you isn't good enough and take us away anyway? What about the visits you told us about, when they have to come check up on us and all that? What if they change their minds and decide to take us away then? All because mom and dad had to go out, had to do something dumb—"

Darry stood quickly, his chair screeching back across the floor in his haste. "Now, you look here Sodapop Curtis," Darry looked at Soda with anger-filled eyes, pointing a finger in his direction. "I don't know what you think you're getting at, but you are dead wrong! You know just as well as I do, this was just a horrific accident, something beyond anyone's control. And then you go and put blame on the people who loved you more than anything in the entire world. I don't get that Soda. And I surely didn't expect that from you."

Sodapop tore himself away from the table, a hand clamped over his mouth, and threw himself into the bathroom. Darry and Pony stayed where they were for a moment, Pony both confused and concerned, Darry angry yet beginning to worry when he heard the retching coming from the bathroom. He walked around the table, Pony right behind him, and walked into the bathroom to find Soda kneeling in front of the toilet, emptying the contents of his stomach. Darry told Ponyboy to get a glass of water for their brother and went to kneel down beside Soda, a hand resting on his brother's back. "You alright Soda?"

Soda spit into the toilet and nodded. He flushed the toilet and sat on the floor, his back resting against the tub. Pony came back with a glass of water and handed it to his brother. "Thanks, Pone." Soda told him, drinking deeply.

"Easy, Pepsi," Darry placed his hand over Soda's and pulled the glass gently from his brother's lips. "Small sips, remember?" Darry thought of all the times he and his brothers were ill and their mother would bring them juice or water, having them drink it slowly to avoid upsetting their stomachs. Soda allowed Darry to take the glass from him and set it on the sink.

"Are you sick Soda?" Pony asked, coming to sit on the edge of the bathtub.

"I'm okay, Pony." Soda assured him. "Darry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean any of that. I think I'm just afraid of what's going to happen tomorrow."

"I know, Soda, we are all a bit on edge right now. I think we all need to just try and control our emotions better right now." Darry told his brothers. He reached over to Soda and placed a hand on his forehead. "You don't feel warm. You still feel sick?"

Soda shook his head. "I think I just ate something bad or something."

"I think you're worrying about what's going to happen tomorrow." Darry suggested. "Which is not like you Sodapop. Pony's usually the one keeping it all in, making himself sick over everything." Pony smiled sheepishly at this. Darry was telling the truth. There was a time when Pony had track tryouts in the sixth grade and for the three days leading up to the tryout, he got headaches and even the smell of food made him sick to his stomach. It was highly unusual for Soda to be angry, to keep things to himself. That was Pony's territory.

"I didn't want to worry you any more than you already were. With all the hearing stuff coming up, and your new job, plus trying to take care of me and Pony and losing mom and dad, I didn't want to add anything more to it." That sounded more like Soda, caring about everyone but himself.

Darry slid himself over so he was sitting directly in front of Sodapop. Soda had drawn his knees up and was resting his chin atop them. Darry placed a hand on Soda's arm. "Soda, I really appreciate what you were trying to do, but you can't do that to yourself. Once this thing is over with tomorrow everything will start to get better. I promise."

Soda smiled at his brother and let himself be pulled into the safety of his big brother's arms. "Aw, Pone. You get in here too." Darry said, noticing Pony still sitting on the edge of the bathtub. Pony lowered himself to the floor and each of his brothers wrapped their arms around him, the three of them once again finding comfort in each other after so much had been lost.

As the three of them headed to bed that evening, Darry in his room, Pony and Soda in their now-shared one, Darry couldn't help but feel thankful that even if he didn't have his parents anymore, he still had his brothers, two of them helping him, just as much as he was helping them. And though tomorrow was still undecided, Darry had a feeling their bond would see them through.


	16. Chapter 16

The next morning was bright, the sun streaming through the windows as if to mock the seriousness of the day. Darry went about his morning, showering, getting dressed, making breakfast, while Soda and Pony lie in bed, the weight of the day already settling over them like a dark cloud. Soda hadn't gotten sick again, but the worry hadn't left him. Pony ended up tossing and turning all night, concerned for Soda as well as for the outcome of the hearing. The two of them lie on their backs, staring up at the ceiling, as if the answers were written in the plaster. "Soda?" Pony said after a long period of silence. "What would you do if you were Darry?"

Soda looked at his brother momentarily before returning his gaze towards the ceiling. "What you mean like would I give up college to look after my two little brothers?"

"Yeah."

Soda thought for a moment, really considering what Darry was doing for them, to keep them together as a family. "I dunno." He said finally. "I guess I would. It would kill me to lose you guys." Ponyboy nodded. Soda turned his head and looked at Pony, his face full of concern. "Why? What made you ask that?"

Ponyboy shrugged, his entire body feeling heavy, as if some invisible force were weighing him down. "I just keep thinking that Darry is doing the job of both of our parents and he doesn't really get to be a kid anymore."

"I'm not too sure Darry ever really was a kid." Soda told him. "He's always been like dad. He's more serious. More straightforward. Me and you are more like mom I think."

"You especially." Ponyboy smiled. Soda smiled back, lightly punching Ponyboy in the arm. They both poked and punched each other lightheartedly for a while, then their quiet laughter died down and the same sullenness came over them once again. "I'm scared Soda." Pony nearly whispered, his voice betraying that he was close to tears. None of them had been this emotional in a very long time, but now it would hit without warning, so overwhelming, it was making them all uneasy. Knowing the hearing was on its way, Pony had become less talkative in school, which was unusual for him, considering his intelligence and the fact that he enjoyed proving it, especially being in classes mostly full of Socs. Soda kept his upbeat, happy exterior, while secretly brooding inside.

All three of them were nervous, but Darry seemed fairly sure no one was going to take his brothers away. He even smiled as he poked his head into the bedroom and let the boys know breakfast was ready. Darry wanted something light enough for their stomachs, yet filling enough to get them through the long day ahead. Plates were piled with egg whites, toast, and hash browns, all of which smelled delicious (and would go easy on Soda's previously upset stomach). On this morning, Pony and Soda ate everything on their plates, to Darry's surprise. It was like by doing to it sent karma into the air 'our brother is a great guardian. See how well we eat'.

The banging of the front door distracted the three of them from their thoughts. The rest of the gang had arrived to go with them to the hearing. They wouldn't be allowed in the courtroom, but they all wanted to be there. Johnny immediately wrapped Pony in a hug, Steve and Two-Bit came in for quick hugs from each of the brothers and Dallas, in his typical standoffish demeanor, leaned against the door frame leading into the kitchen. Today was going to be one hell of a ride.

The gang chatted with each other as the brothers took their turn in the bathroom getting prepared for the hearing. Each of the boys wore a suit and tie, their hair greased back and combed to precision. The rest of the gang wore the usual t-shirt and jeans, though Dallas left his leather jacket at home. Once ready, they all nervously clamored into their vehicles and headed to the courthouse.

They pulled into their parking spaces as the sun got higher in the sky. The hearing was at ten, so they had a good fifteen minutes before they had to be in the courtroom, plenty of time to become extremely nervous. The seven of them marched up the steps and into the foyer, where a long hallway extended the length of the building, doors along the left side labeled with each lawyer's name, a larger one for the judge. To the right, a set of double doors stood ominous and foreboding, the courtroom just beyond. On either side of the double doors, benches sat, vacant, and they moved to sit, waiting for their social worker to make her appearance.

As if they had summoned her just by thought, Kathleen Overland walked out of the courtroom, having finished with another case, and approached the Curtis boys. The three of them sat silently on one of the benches, in various poses of anxiety, Darry leaning back against the wall, staring straight ahead, Soda leaning forward, his head bent to look at the floor, Pony had his legs pulled up to his chest, his head resting on his knees. She smiled as she addressed them, "Good morning boys!" She said brightly. "How are you feeling today?"

"I think we're all a little nervous this morning." Darry said, standing in greeting.

'That's understandable. But I can assure you you have nothing to worry about. Judge McNeary is very good at his job and I have a good feeling about today." She smiled again, trying to reassure them. Shifting her briefcase in her hand, she smoothed her blouse and nodded towards the rest of the gang, who had gathered on the other bench, all looking just as anxious as the brothers. "I see you've brought some friends along. That's wonderful. Always good to have people who support you around. We begin in about five minutes. I'm going to run to the restroom while I still have a chance if you'd like to get out any last minute jitters." And she turned and headed down the long hallway, where she turned a corner, heading down what seemed to be another corridor.

Everyone stood, milling about, looking everywhere but at each other, none of them quite sure what to do with themselves. "Darry." Ponyboy spoke up. "I'm scared."

"It's going to be okay Ponyboy." Darry pulled Ponyboy in for a hug, Soda joining them. When they broke apart, the rest of the boys took their turns hugging and wishing luck to the brothers. In what seemed like a long period of time, and yet no time at all, Kathleen was back, and opened one of the doors to the courtroom, leading the boys into the expansive space. The gang watched form the hallway until the door closed, leaving them in an empty foyer, where they either retreated to one of the benches or paced out of nervousness. They, too, were worried about what was going to happen. It wouldn't just be Darry losing Pony and Soda, or Pony and Soda losing Darry and possibly each other, but the gang losing their brothers as well. Even Dallas was anxious, pacing back and forth, reaching into his pocket for a smoke and a lighter, before being told by the clerk at the front check in window that there was no smoking within the building. He shoved the items back into his jeans but not before shooting her a venomous glance. "What now?" It was Johnny who spoke up.

"Now," Dally put an arm around the young boy's shoulders. "We fucking wait."


	17. Chapter 17

The doors closed behind them, leaving Pony with a trapped feeling, and he found himself reaching for Darry's hand. It was a somewhat childish gesture, but it gave him the strength to walk the length of the room, where the judge sat awaiting their case. Darry felt his brother's presence on either side of him, and when Pony grabbed his hand he felt himself relax a little, hoping the judge would see that as a trusting gesture. Soda stared straight ahead, his heart beating so hard, he was sure everyone else could hear it within the quiet of the room.

The three of them and Kathleen stopped in front of the judge. "Your Honor, I bring you the Curtis brothers case." She stepped forward and handed him a packet of papers. She continued speaking as he looked them over. "They lost their parents a few weeks ago and this hearing is to bring guardianship to the eldest brother, Darrel, aged 20."

Judge McNeary looked up as she spoke their names; at least he's probably heard some crazy ones throughout the years. "Darrel." He said finally.

Darry dropped Pony's hand and stepped forward, nervousness beginning to stir within him at a higher rate. "Sir."

"I see that you are applying for guardianship of your brothers, Sodapop Patrick Curtis, aged 16 and Ponyboy Michael Curtis, aged 13."

"Yes, sir." Darry said, trying to control his breathing. The last thing he needed was the judge to think he was spastic and unfit to care for his brothers. He wiped his palms on his suit jacket. God, he was ridiculous.

"First, I'd like to say I'm sorry about your parents. My condolences." Judge McNeary told him. Darry thanked him. "It's a big responsibility to take over as a parent. There is a lot involved."

"Yes, sir, I understand that sir." Darry wished he felt more calm about all of this. He certainly felt better about all of this yesterday when it wasn't staring him in the face. The reality of the situation made his chest tight. He really could lose his brothers and the thought terrified him. "But I feel willing to take that on."

"I'd like to hear your reasons for wanting to take care of your brothers. You're young, unmarried, could head to college. Why take this on?"

Darry thought for a moment, going down the list of all the reasons he wanted to 'take this on'. A million things filled his mind, but he started with the most important. "I love them." He smiled. "I can't imagine my life without them in it. No matter what trouble they try and cause or the crazy things they say, or the fact that we fight sometimes, there is no one on this planet that loves my brothers more than I do. Our parents always told us to look out for one another, because that's what brothers do, and I am luckier than most, because I get to have two of them."

"How's your job going?" The judge asked, seeming to be reading what was on the paper in front of him. "I understand you work in roofing?"

"Yes, sir. I started a couple weeks ago."

"And how is that going?"

"Well, I think." Darry told him. "I feel like I'm making the money I should for the work that I do."

The judge nodded. "What about a social life? How do you feel about that?"

"We tend to do a lot of things together, Your Honor. But as for dating, I'm thinking if it happens, then it'll happen. I wouldn't date anyone my brothers didn't like or who didn't treat them well, even if I weren't their guardian. But I don't have any plans for dating at the moment." Darry wanted to be honest, sure the judge would be able to see through anything too 'perfect'.

The judge didn't say anything, didn't give anything away either. "How do you think you'll be able to take care of two young, impressionable boys, at your age? Don't you think it would be in their best interest to be with someone older, someone more your parents age?" It was as if the judge were trying to stump him, cause him to fumble and make a mistake.

"I know it's not ideal for me to be only twenty years old, but I have seen a lot more in my lifetime than most people and I care about the two of them more than myself. Life came and hit us like a truck and we are helping each other through it. No one else could know what it's like, no one else understands what we've just lost, but we all get it. We know each other very well and even though most people probably don't think someone my age can take care of two teenage boys, but I wasn't there too long ago so I get how they feel about things and I think that can be helpful in getting them through our situation. We've already lost so much, so I want to ask you, Your Honor, to please don't take anything else away from us, especially not them."

"Thank you Darrel." Judge McNeary said, shuffling the papers in front of him and setting them back down again. "At this point, I'd like to speak to each Ponyboy and Sodapop alone, Ms. Overland will obviously present. But first, I'd like you to show Darrel to the lobby where he can wait until I'm through speaking to the young Curtis's."

"Of course , Your Honor." Kathleen answered. "Darrel, if you'll come with me, please." She led Darry back down the aisle and opened one of the heavy doors. She put a hand on his shoulder, "It's going well, Darry. Take a deep breath. You did wonderfully. Pony and Soda will be fine." She turned, letting the door shut behind her.

Darry leaned against the wall as the gang came up to him, approaching with some caution, unsure what they were witnessing. "He wanted to talk to Pony and Soda alone." Darry explained. "I just wish I could be in there with them while he did it." Darry chuckled. "I know they are nervous."

Soda and Pony stood next to one another, neither one of them saying anything. "Sodapop?" Soda nodded. The judge smiled at him. "Why don't you come up here and have a seat?" He gestured to the witness stand. "We can just have a conversation. That way maybe it won't be as intimidating." Sodapop walked quietly to the witness stand and took a seat. "Now, I'm really sorry about your parents, son. That has to be really hard."

"Yeah." Soda looked down at his hands, having placed them between his knees, then back up at the judge. "It is."

"How have you been with Darrel moving into that position recently?" He asked.

Sodapop smiled. "Darry's been great. He always was a great brother, but when our parents died he just kinda took over. He made us meals, kept up with homework, and he just makes us feel better. I feel bad sometimes because he does so much for us, he doesn't get any time for himself. But I don't know what we'd do without him."

"How would you feel about Darrel becoming your legal guardian? That would mean he would have the same 'power' so to speak, as your parents did. Makes the rules, takes you to the doctor, all of that."

"If I couldn't have my parents, then I'd choose Darry. Even if he weren't my brother." Soda didn't take his eyes off of Judge McNeary, wanting him to see how much he wanted to be with his brothers.

"Thank you, Sodapop." Judge McNeary smiled at Soda. "You may step down now."

Soda did as he was told and saw a hint of a smile from Kathleen Overland. He went to stand by Pony, who looked more nervous than he felt. Poor Pony, Soda though. He squeezed Pony's arm as the judge called him to sit in the spot Soda had just vacated. Pony thought this whole thing was strange; there was no jury, no audience, like in the movies. Just him, and Soda, the judge, and their social worker. "Hi, Ponyboy." The judge spoke to him like a lot of adults, like he was no older than seven. It was hard for them to speak to him like an adult, but he didn't say anything even though he was annoyed. "How are you doing today?"

"Okay, I guess." Pony tried not to fold in on himself, his nerves getting the better of him. He felt like he was being interrogated.

"That's good. How do you and Darrel get along?" The judge asked.

Pony sat up a little straighter in the chair. "We get along fine." Pony looked at Soda, who nodded encouragement. "I mean, everyone argues now and then, but we're brothers. I love him a lot. Soda too."

"You understand, as well, that Darrel will be more than your brother if he is allowed guardianship? He'll be just like a parental figure in your life, setting limitations, making sure you follow any rules he has set out."

"I understand that, sir. But Darry has always been like that. Older, I mean. He thinks a lot, used his head, and doesn't ever get into any trouble. He's always been real protective of us."

"How do you think your parents would feel about Darrel being your guardian? Do you feel he'd ever take advantage of his position?"

Ponyboy thought about his parents, how much they loved all of them, how many times they reminded them that being brothers was more important than any other relationship you'd ever had. "I agree with Soda. I think my parents would be very happy with Darry being our guardian. He looks out for us a lot, makes sure we're okay." Sodapop watched as Ponyboy's eyes filled with tears. It took everything he had not to run to his baby brother and gather him in his arms. The judge looked at Pony with curiosity, as if wondering what was causing the youngest Curtis to break down, but he didn't offer any words or gestures of help. "I just—" Ponyboy tried, sniffling. "I remember there was one time when we were younger and I was trying to figure out football. I kept getting upset because I couldn't figure out how to throw a spiral like the rest of the guys. Darry stayed outside with me for hours until I finally got it." He wiped the tears from his eyes and looked up at the judge. "That's Darry. That's why he should be our guardian. Because he already is."

"Thank you, Ponyboy. You can go back with your brother." Ponyboy got up and walked to where Soda was standing, Soda giving Pony a one-armed hug.

"I appreciate your speaking here today. It helps us in making a decision." He looked at Kathleen. "Ms. Overland, you may retrieve Darrel."

"Of course." She turned and walked back to the doors of the courtroom, but not before giving the boys a wink and a big smile. She thought it went well. She opened the door to find Darry pacing the hallway, but he stopped and looked at her the moment he heard the door. The rest of the gang were sitting or standing in various poses of nerves. "You can come on back in now Darry."

Darry let out a breath of air and followed Kathleen back into the courtroom. He watched his brothers the whole time, trying to gauge their expressions. He noticed Pony's eyes were red and his heart dropped, wondering the cause of it. Soda seemed anxious, but otherwise okay. When they got to where the boys were standing, he wrapped his arms around each of them, pulling them to his chest. He ran a hand through Pony's hair, trying to show him that everything was going to be okay. Then, keeping an arm around each of his brothers, he turned so that they were all facing Judge McNeary. "Gentlemen, Ms. Overland."

The judge began, pulling the glasses form his face, and placing them on the large podium in front of him. "After a lot of thought, hearing each of you speak, and looking over history, and current events, I've come to a decision." The boys tensed. "I believe what these boys need is a loving, nurturing home, where they will be able to grow to the best of their abilities, have a positive future, and feel safe as they continue through some of the most challenging years of their lives." Taking a breath, he studied the three young boys in front of him, each watching him with heavy anticipation. "And I believe that place is with Darrel Curtis."

All three Curtises let out a collective breath, nearly jumping up and down with excitement, hugging each other tightly, thanking the judge over and over again. The judge smiled, and stepped down from his position, coming up to the boys to congratulate them himself. He shook hands with Kathleen Overland, handing her papers of guardianship. She smiled just as big as they brothers, coming to hug all of them, telling them how proud of them she was and that she knew all along they would stay together. As the four of them headed out into the lobby to share the good news with their friends, Darry felt a new lightness to himself, thankful that something wonderful bloomed from the ashes of tragedy.


End file.
